A writer’s promise to her readers

Ohh mansies. Blogging. I have the same sense of dread and confusion mixed with exploratory curiosity that cats have when you let them out of their carrier at the vet’s office. Imagine me bobbing and weaving around the WordPress site smelling everything, hissing, and eventually curling in the corner to stare at you.

Maybe my recent acquisition of another cat has me in a weird place, I don’t know.

Regardless, half the reason why blogging scares me so much is because I mercilessly mocked blogs back in college, doing what we called dramatic blog readings. This activity also extended to middle school diaries of friends because they contained the same painfully earnest melancholy delusions of grandeur that I hope to avoid while blogging.  This is not my first foray in to the world of the blog. I did have a Xanga account and a Myspace page, but times were different back then, mostly because I couldn’t post links to my facebook page desperately vying for attention and readership, as I intend to do now. So I better not suck.

This all being said, I have drawn up a promise to you all (the delusions of grandeur are starting!!), to which you can keep me accountable to should I stray. Hence, a writer’s promise to her readers:

1. I will not wallow in self pity (and blog about it).

2. I will attempt to establish a proper posting schedule so that you don’t decide to randomly stalk my blog and see that the last time I posted was about the bad cod fish sandwich my husband ate 3 months ago.

3. I will not write about the time my husband ate a bad cod fish sandwich.

4. I will update you on my comings and goings, goals, the happenings, favorites, memories, stories, weekend recaps, etc.

5. I will post pictures occasionally, a likely majority of which will be cat pictures. If that’s not your bag, you better leave now.

6. I will state my opinion on various things. I will try not to be a curmudgeonous ass about my stances, so hopefully I won’t piss you off.

7. I will make up words like curmudgeonous.

8. I won’t likely use comas or apostrophes correctly, so brace yourself now. I will use the proper form of their, they’re, there and your and you’re. I may also give up on capitalization eventually as well.

Well that’s all the main points I can think of right now to avoid being inducted in to the annals of Blogs That Suck. Besides, with our minuscule attention spans, you probably haven’t read this far. Heck, I’m barely paying attention anymore.

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Categories: Uncategorized | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “A writer’s promise to her readers

  1. Well done, grasshopper! I giggled several times. Your format has great Colorado!

  2. Welcome! I’m mostly excited for pictures of cats! I’ll make Andrew read too. Or I will read it to him aloud with low lighting and dramatic voice inflections.

  3. Livia your sista

    Well done! I laughed and paid attention the whole time. I also had anxiety thinking about the pressure of it all. I too love to make fun of things..so I was nervous.

  4. The Mom

    The Mom…Where all of your smartassedness and or curmudgeoness started not to speak of the ability to make up words like smartassedness and curmudgeness. Quite frankly I don’t even know what a blog is nor have I ever cared but (damn) now of course that I have child doing it I must pay attention or be relegated to the deplorable and debilitating category of “bad mom” ohh eek I’ve worked so hard and yet not too diligently to stay out of that position. And to not be unworthy of the “criticising (sp?)” mother moniker I do believe in your final statement “in to” should actually be “into” Love you, honey!

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