Wow. Really failing here. I wish I could tell you that the reason for my hiatus was that life was just too fabulously full of Instagram-able moments and adorable Pinterest projects to stop and write some lines. But that would be all lies. I mostly had a creative dry spell and lost interest. Sorry, I’m just not that in to you, WordPress! But that’s all about to change!! (No, it’s not.) I’m going to post regularly! (No, I’m not.)
One major reason I will not post regularly in the future is that holy crap – I’m going to be a mama. My husband and I will be parents roughly around the end of June. That is exciting and terrifying, depending on what day you ask me. I am not a kids person. I know nothing about babies. Newborn’s weak necks scare me into not holding them. I never relished babysitting – I was terrible at it. Yet I have lots of highfalutin ideas about how I will mold my child in to the most polite, witty, coolest, and well adjusted human being ever – with absolutely no experience or expertise to make that a reality.
What is really terrifying is that as a child (ages birth to 13) I assumed all parents had their shit together. I thought everyone at the age of 30 had all their shit together and that 17 year olds were like the coolest people ever. I was disabused of that notion in high school. As a result of this assumption I thought someday when I have kids I will be fully actualized adult with no more issues or problems. That is not presently the case, and that scares me. I tell myself the reality is that no new parent (and likely any parent) has their lives together, no matter how polished their social media posts are. I tell myself I just have to accept that it will be hard and I will make mistakes and not let it overshadow the impending awesomeness of parenthood (so I am told).
The cats have been formative, but certainly no surrogate for parenting – the Google results for litter training children are surprisingly disappointing. I won’t ‘get’ being a parent until I am one so I need to just let this all happen without expectations of perfection or doom. Maybe I’ll even have some blog post worthy moments. But fear not, reader, this will not become a repository of mundane parenting stories. I will share the nursery, however, when that is finished. Cause it’s going to be awesome, says me.